TOTP 5/5/77 (tx 17/5/12): no show without Punch

We will get round to this in the fulness of time.

"Right, come on! You're not supposed to enjoy yourselves!" It's to be assumed Noel was making a joke, but this is at the start of a TOTP fronted by Noel Edmonds so who really knows.



Cryptic.

Bay City Rollers – It's A Game
Ah, the Rollers! Except this is the beginning of the end, down to four and this their first single not to reach the top ten. Les has gone for the open shirt look plus high waisted white jeans and a badge reading 'I CAN DO IT' but more notably there are few strands of hanging on to the tartan tradition, Eric Faulkner with a scarf, Stuart Wood his collar. Not that this matters much to the Rollerites, there's still quite a few scarves and one girl down the front completely losing it. Later, however, when the camera is right behind her she keeps turning back and checking where it is. Fearful of being found out? "Somebody wrote to me and said 'how do you measure tartan? With a Bay City ruler?' Well, close" Someone wrote to Noel, yet it still sounds like the sort of line only he would attempt.

Rod Stewart – The First Cut Is The Deepest
"Rod Stewart also wears tartan". Yes, Noel, maybe so, but not in this video clip. Rod looks uncomfortable playing an acoustic guitar, as if it's physically weighing him down, and notably there's no instrument shots for the difficult bits. That'll be why on the second chorus he suddenly swings it behind his back, as if he's making that Kenny Everett sketch flesh and playing it with the arse cheeks, before bringing it back just to turn his back on camera and then abandoning the instrument entirely regardless of the soundtrack. He then makes like he's using his vertebrae to fingerpick. "What a moody lot of romantic individuals we have here" comments Noel. The Rollers and Rod? We can't hear screaming but we're led to assume it, which is an interesting touch.

Delegation – Where Is The Love (We Used To Know)
And now, The Green Lantern - The Harmonic Soul Years.



It's not a colour that radiates serious minded greatness, is it? As if this weren't undignified enough, a badly timed closeup reveals a massive gap in the front teeth of the lead singer.

The Eagles – Hotel California
"They're touring around the UK at the moment" Noel tells us. So why aren't they on the show? Legs & Co - still Patti-free! Three weeks now - instead, and what says more about Californian decadence then dressing your dancers as matadors in fake moustaches. Well, that's one way of putting paid to the literalism accusations. Gill Rosie takes a supporting role that's meant to be lead as a Hollywood starlet type, the backdrop is a single door against clouds looking like a painting and none of it really makes much sense.

Mac & Katie Kissoon - Your Love
"You might well have heard the rumours of Mac & Katie Kissoon in split partnership riddle. Well, here's the truth - they're back together again." What? They don't seem very together to start with, Katie having to descend some stairs to join Mac. She's also been lumbered with an impractical looking Mexican-inspired dress with what seems to be a large peacock feather affixed to the front. A lot of people only seem to come over to watch right at the end.

Leo Sayer – How Much Love
The massed Leos of the VT suite strike again.

Joy Sarney – Naughty Naughty Naughty
This is true. Within the last day another clip of this has appeared on YouTube. Title: 'Punch & judy song on Top of the pops'. Description: 'What the hell is wrong with people from the past....'



The first line of the middle eight is "he's been in trouble with the law for grevious bodily harm", and it's sung like a grand soul statement. As you admire the work of the director, who refuses to let on any sight of Sarney's singing partner or his habitation until right at the end of the first chorus, just think about this for a moment. As this blog post reveals, the recorded version is different. Johnny Pearson had to find out how to play this and then run it through with his orchestra. The Punch operator, wrist blatantly in shot, had to provide live vocals. Someone had to get all those balloons pumped up. Humanity, that whole curing cancer thing can wait for another day, we've got a new performance of a song in which a session singer pretends to be a forgiving rival for Judy's affections in the face of a heavily sexed up Punch to organise. You'll notice the lack of audience shots.

Tavares – Whodunnit
The TopPop clip again, enlivened by Noel picking a fight with a girl in a flat cap behind him.

Frankie Valli – Easily
Surrounded by Rollermania girls, of whom there really are a lot, Noel informs us Valli is "doing some fabulous concerts". How important is he? He gets a walk-on. Presumably the best bits don't include this sappy piano ballad, judging by the fact that half the audience, even the two seemingly transfixed at the front are distracted by the crane camera as it swoops from round the back of a 50p shaped mini-stage we haven't seen before. Some start waving at it. You're not telling me that wouldn't distract Valli, stage veteran or not. Noel, now in front of the balloons, takes quite some time to start talking afterwards.

Andrew Gold – Lonely Boy
"Sounds like a company with Angela Rippon as managing director, doesn't it?" It's taken him this long to think of a line for Legs & Co? The oddest piece of early version editing comes here and must be for timing reasons, even though the edit comes in a good minute or so short of as long as it can run, as the earlier routine was cut but this repeat, Floyd and all, was left in.

Mr Big – Feel Like Calling Home
Noel has got a Union Jack flag ("the only thing that spoils it is it says Made In Hong Kong") and hat from somewhere. That's more intriguing than this leaden number, which the singer tries to enliven with some very odd strained falsetto singing at the start and his bandmates add some "bidibidibidi" backing vocals to at one stage.

Deniece Williams – Free
At last, a new number one! Noel, absolutely surrounded and packed in by people - well, let's be fair, girls - asks one what it will be and gets no answer. He seems to be chiding someone in response as a slow wipe takes him and his kind off the screen in favour of Williams' studio performance from two shows ago now, just before someone holding an autograph book can reach him. He's on telly, woman! "It's been great presenting Top Of The Pops from inside a lift" is Noel's line out of the action and into Sir Duke and the credits as everyone presses in on him, but not before someone clearly pokes him in the eye.

TOTP 14/4/77 (tx 26/4/12): should old acquaintance be forgot

You've read the camera script, right? Good. You've spoilt it for yourself, mind you.

Enter Savile. He's wearing a red, yellow and white curly wig, a paisley patterend jacket and a felt frog over his left shoulder with 'Chief Tadpole' picked out in embroidery. The tone has already been set.

Now, call me a cynic but I don't think this is quite accurate.



The single, I Wanna Get Next To You, was from the film Car Wash, which may explain things, but it's still no Cortina.

The Brothers – Beautiful
Proving that without cod-reggae written by a middle-aged couple from Exeter they might have been easily lost, the Brothers are still running with the matching outfit theme, this time powder blue ruffled shirts under navy blue bolero jackets and matching trousers with bell bottoms one could hide children under. Innovation? Well, the drummer gets to sing a post-chorus section in a strangulated whine and both guitars seem to be playing rhythm, if that all counts. Lots of Union Jack plastic hats in the audience tonight. Perhaps a shipment was expected for Lynsey and Mike the week before last but got delayed.

Marilyn McCoo & Billy Davis Jnr – You Don’t Have To Be A Star (To Be In My Show)
Jimmy's managed to find someone new to be in nearly every link with him tonight. Imagine him in that outfit beckoning you towards his part of the stage. You'd have to wonder what was about to happen. In this case it's some girls from Wrexham and a wider shot which reveals Chief Tadpole has a cigar in, as well as a massive breast pocket. Sets it all off nicely, I'm sure you'll agree. Same Top Pop clip as three shows ago.

Brendon – Gimme Some
Ah! Now, if you haven't read the comments you have to, both for 24/3 and last week, as it seems Brendon's bassist Dave Levy, as WeddingSuit, has joined the conversation with his insight into recording, including that script PDF up there. This week he's brought out the big stuff, a double-necked instrument. Brendon's brought his own acoustic with him, slinging it behind his back to begin like a wayfaring stranger, while one of the guitarists is sporting a Rubettes cap. Well, they didn't need them any more. Must be said, while this never got beyond number 14 the crowd are as into it as the producer evidently was, clapping the off-beat throughout and not minding when the cameraman takes several of them down at once judging by the size of the wobble.

David Soul – Going In With My Eyes Open
Jimmy has found two girls in overcoats and flat caps. He claims they're called Bill and Ben. One of them switches between broadly beaming and grimacing vaguely menacingly. In his mind this all makes perfect sense. Those who are playing along with the script at home will spot this isn't Leo Sayer or Mike Nesmith, it seems they assumed this would be number one by now and when it wasn't chose to throw this straightforward singing with occasional overlaid shots from side angles video in here instead.

The Stylistics – 7000 Dollars And You
"A nice single Yorkshire millionaire" is next on the rostrum of chance, one wearing a pinstripe suit and darkened glasses. Back for a second go in the studio Russell Thompkins Jr doesn't seem any less permanently surprised than before but his colleagues, one of whom is sporting not just a tight afro but also mighty mutton chops, seem happy enough with their matching crimson suits and synchronised hoofing. A very wobbly pan to the lights to close.

John Williams & Cleo Laine – Feelings
"It could only happen on Top Of The Pops - it's classical guitar" If you like, Jimmy. "Where could you get such class except Top Of The Pops?" rhetorically asks a man who chose to dress like that. Both parties sit, the crowd stand pensively around the perimeter of a small circular stage I don't think we've ever seen before. It's pretty much what you'd expect Feelings performed by Cleo Laine with John Williams to sound like, a reminder that throughout this decade you'd get stuff well out of the pop loop - the Shadows were regulars well into the 80s - in an attempt to paint the show as inclusive and classy. The response is appropriately Two Ronnies audience-like.

Andrew Gold – Lonely Boy
"I don't know which one to speak into, my tadpole or this microphone". Er, the electric one that's wired up, Jimmy, but he has given Chief Tadpole to one of the latest pair of girls flanking him, which is asking for trouble. Speaking of which... "Legs & Co with Floyd, no less!" Floyd! It's Floyd! Back for... well, he made a few appearances in the couple of years post-Flipper, but rarely would he get a namecheck such as this, or indeed a role such as this. His being the lonely boy in the routine, keen to show off his full repertoire of spins and star jumps, was about as literal as Flick would get this time while still dealing in some respect with the lyrical concern. In a mini-reunion of old ways Patti gets to play lead Leg as the narrator's sister, getting the sort of double act going they never did before as Patti gets variously grabbed from behind and spun right round, leapfrogged, have her pigtails pulled and have general wrestling-like not quite contacting moves performed on her, though she does get to waggle her arse at him as is her wont, which makes someone - Gill, I think - visibly corpse. The rest of the Co kind of flounce around and stand still, this not being their moment. There isn't a feelgood ending rapprochement either, unless you count the fanservice knicker crotch reveals. One close-up reveals Patti's wearing a wedding ring. Don't break it to the kids of 1977 like that!

Billy Ocean – Red Light Spells Danger
"These ladies have just come up from Upminster, would you believe!" As Jimmy embarks on some elbow-led dancing this appears to be a new orchestra-led Ladybirds far too high in the mix version with Billy richly singing live. Suit: purple. Cuffs: white, huge. Collar: wings. Just as things seem to have gone well Ocean gets faded out too early, giving it plenty to very little audible effect before someone realises almost too late.

ABBA – Knowing Me Knowing You
"High speed cameras and things, goodness gracious!" No idea where the two blokes surrounding Jimmy now are from but he says they're DJs, "taking the bread out of my mouth". One of them is wearing a T-shirt reading 'DON'T SHOOT ME, I'm only the DEE-JAY". The other one is wearing a suit, bears a resemblance to the singer from Young Knives and, credit to Bob Stanley with this not least as he's got a book and column to write and an impending album to promote yet is still taking the jeweller's eyepiece to this thing every week, is wearing a safety pin attached to another safety pin through his earlobe. It almost constitutes a watershed, that. The scowling plays out again before Boney M, again, finish a show featuring six new entries, none featured, and five songs in the top ten. Back to shows longer than thirty minutes on original screening next week. I think this tableau from the closing link about sums this week up...