TOTP 10/11/77 (tx 29/11/12): bursting at the seams

Noel's in a suit so he's in a serious mood. No, wait, that can't be right. The Jacksons' Goin' Places under the charts. Somewhat unfairly the photographer wouldn't wait to let Rita Ray get changed.



Obviously Den always dressed like that.

Tom Robinson Band – 2-4-6-8 Motorway
Not often we've started with a repeat visitor. Maybe Robin was impressed by the numbers punching the air, who respond in kind again along with a good proportion of clapping along at the start - though there don't appear to be a lot of people around this week - as the crane camera, given plenty of runway space, takes off, heads through a big cardboard ring and films Robinson, pink triangle badge again proudly worn alongside scruffy skinny school tie, from above. He seems quietly amused by the directorial concept. As you suspected they would eventually the first chorus sees a cut to a different band member with every number. The band seem to be playing totally live in accordance with the Musician's Union sticker on Tom's bass, going on Noel having to wait a moment or two too long waiting for them to pipe down.

Ruby Winters – I Will
First proper link and, dangerously, Noel's trying out a concept joke. "Here's a lady who used to be in the Four Seasons alongside Donna Summer". Takes a moment. Ruby's in a white room with a white piano, a white big chair, a white dress and, for stylistic variation, a red rose in her hand and a big pot of them next to the piano. "I remember when Bud Flanagan and Julie Andrews used to sing that" coos Noel. "I bet you do" retort a nation.

Roxy Music – Virginia Plain



No, hang on, that's not it. Reissued to promote a Greatest Hits, because reissuing songs that were hits five years earlier was pretty common then - we've only just seen Radar Love, remember - although Noel oddly doesn't mention it this is the iconic 1972 appearance of much costumage and glitter. You know the one.



No, hang on, that's not it either, and YES I CAN SEE HE IS. As well as all that there's lots of unselfconscious dancing from the audience so you can tell it isn't 1972. It gets cut off early, unfortunately. Well, look how many songs they're trying to pack into half an hour. If you count rundown and playout, thirteen!

Boney M – Belfast
And who could possibly pass up the opportunity of seeing this experience - "song" seems too reductive - again? Uniting Catholics and Protestants in common scorn.

Elvis Costello – Watching The Detectives
Or as Noel introduces him "the Red Shoes man", odd given Red Shoes wasn't a chart hit. As with Red Shoes Elvis is in full angry nerd mode, seeking out the camera as early as sees fit so he can stare it down, eventually leering right over the mike with full-on scary googly eyes for most of the second verse as if we committed whatever it is ourselves. Meanwhile Pete Thomas drums extravagantly mid-stage. "Watching all the detectives and things" is how Noel succinctly puts it.

The Bee Gees – How Deep Is Your Love
And then, Legs & Co ahead, Noel just goes for it. "This is where you have to get your rulers out and tape measures and your plumb lines and, ah, get measuring. Feel a bit silly now." What's he going on about? Presumably he's freestyling on the theme of depth, but - and maybe we've all seen too many DLT intros to bring this thought on - the mention of rulers was in an Adrian Mole sense. If it seems it couldn't get more obtuse Legs & Co oblige in what seems to be farmer's market chic - flat caps, waistcoats, check shirts, slacks, sensible shoes. It says here Flick chose the clothes herself to fit the mood, which makes you wonder what interpretation she saw in the song. Gill, Lulu and Rosie do a good line of thumbs jauntily placed into belt loops, I'll say that for the Pauline Sueless routine which involves a lot of conjoined fancy striding and even more pleasant grinning.

Kenny Everett & Mike Vickers – Captain Kremmen (Retribution)
This is the show we would have got had BBC4 not found the rushes for the 1973 show back at the start of October, for this reason. Strange this gets such attention, Kenny was on Capital at the time and didn't start the Video Show until 1978 so it would have meant little to the vast majority of the audience. Noel doesn't even try to place it in proper context, instead working around the theme of Star Trek and - hey! - Patrick Moore. Sadly it's only the video, for which Ken presses some buttons, holds a phone to his ear and hangs on visible wires in a spacesuit. Vickers for his part appears dressed as a WWII flying ace prodding an organ in big gloves. How odd this whole venture seems.

Santana – She’s Not There
"There's an interesting story about this record - you listen to it and I'll tell these two ladies the story" Noel ventures before turning and animatedly miming something to two ladies wearing Tom Robinson Band stickers. It's probably more interesting than the grainy enormodome live clip.

Tina Charles – Love Bug/Sweets For My Sweet
The orchestra sound like they're being chased by bees, which is a good start. Tina's an old hand at this now, when not stuck in the gantry, but with her either recent or ongoing pregnancy she's been forced into a billowing marquee of a black dress. No matter how much of her particular standing on the spot and swaying a bit charm she plays up she can neither hide the nature of the song, which counts as a medley only insomuch as two lines of the latter are inserted towards the end, or the move she really goes for in the later stages of swinging her arms around as if trying to take off like a helicopter. A large number of people at the front of the stage, so in the worst possible position to get quickly to the other stage and see the next act, are wearing the T-shirt of...

Darts – Daddy Cool/The Girl Can’t Help It
Behold, the three fashion styles of doo-wop.



Yes, of course Den's jacket is fully shiny. The editing team are really getting their worth out of their new equipment, this week forming a rainbow-hued small arrowhead which Noel follows around the screen. "Double top! Double top!" he obliges at the last. They're back in the studio with some changes, one being the pianist is actually on the stage this time, another that Den, who otherwise is his usual reserved self, has no room to extemporise for his solo spot, ending up rolling on the floor before towering over the front row. Two girls right at the front by his feet obligingly look, bored, in the opposite direction. One of them, it turns out, is wearing their T-shirt! There's gratitude.

ABBA – The Name Of The Game
Merchandise! Maybe.



"You should have a look what's written on the front" he teases, to which his new friend unknowingly obliges.



Well, that's confusing. "Aw, you let the secret out" Noel laughs for some reason, as if it were advertising or some sort of outrage he were trying to hide, then back to the world's least convincing staring competition. Noel lists all the places we can find him, thinks of a few more ("it's my turn to turn the globe round between programmes..."), and Rod Stewart sees us out.

TOTP 1/9/77 (tx 4/10/12): the long one

Tony greets us straightforwardly into a countdown backed by Meri Wilson's Telephone Man. Meri Wilson's Telephone Man! It's unlikely the show ever chose a less comfortably fitting track for a fastpaced chart rundown.

Hudson-Ford – Are You Dancing?
In which two former Strawbs attempt to get hep. Hang on - big curly mass of fair hair and at least developing facial hair, big dark glasses, prominent cellos, hint of disco being taken on board... Jeff Lynne? Is that you? He's got the better look than his colleague, who seems to have pioneered the look of Andy from Little Britain. They actually do go back to back for the instrumental break, but that doesn't hide they have a third guitarist doing the solo. When does he get his name in the business title? Tony announces it'll be Noel's record of the week, just to put the mockers on it completely.

Yvonne Elliman – I Can’t Get You Out Of My Mind
She seems to have been in the top 30 for most of these eighteen months but this video is the first we've actually seen of her. The video format is of course very much in its primacy, hence this is Elliman in all her a-bit-like-Coolidge form, or possibly what Scott Gorham of Thin Lizzy would actually look like as a woman, standing in front of a lightly blowing wind machine in a kaftan, and then during the second verse someone turns the front lights out for a bit.

Elvis Costello – Red Shoes



No, hang on, that's not it. Costello's debut, backed by the Attractions, and I wonder if the TOTP reworking was his first recording with them - they made their live debut with Elvis seven weeks earlier, the US band Clover (most of whom became Huey Lewis' News) back him on the original and they're not on the following single either. Playing in front of what is a white spiral this week, Elvis is the angry nerd of early infamy, staring down the camera sneering and angry as he goes, taking advantage of every close-up and pull shot, as if all this was somehow our fault. Drummer Pete Thomas' T-shirt reads 'ELVIS Original P(something)' and he's in firing mode too, drumrolling and cymbal crashing well into the link out. "Why not? You can't get done for it" claims Tony. About the wearing, not the drumming.

David Soul – Silver Lady
Legs & Co without Lulu or Rosie but with... go on, guess. Yes, silver outfits. Flimsy chain mail skirts and bra tops, in fact. Despite much early promise of bum-waggling it's fairly standard prancing and the two increasingly common move, holding up the arms while moving sideways and striding forward with chest forward like a Tex Avery suited cartoon villain. Tony plugs Starsky & Hutch, Saturday 9pm on BBC1. Don't actually watch at that time in expectation.

Steve Gibbons Band – Tulane
The original is 45 minutes long yet they kept a repeat (the first appearance) of this in?

The Jacksons – Dreamer
A close-up of some lights provides a divider between that film and this video. No Randy, for some reason, and he's not missing a lot as the other four, Michael very much in the foreground and getting to hold a yellow mike that looks like a ball and cup game, sit on stools in bow tie, frilly shirt and blue suits against a green screen backdrop achieved by panning across some stretched out wallpaper patterns. They're all sitting in different ways, interestingly, Michael side-on to be better in the full band shots, one at 45 degrees, one bandy-legged, one with the left leg casually around the side. At no point do they get up from the stools and walk towards the camera. Look and learn, modern bands.

Elkie Brooks – Sunshine After The Rain
Back in her finest overalls. Well, not back per se, as it's a repeat. Tony draws particular specific attention to the melody.

Joe Dolan – I Need You
And you thought Enge seemed out of place in 1973. Big cabaret night pop had a presence throughout the decade and Irish easy listening hero Dolan, whom Tony notes "hasn't had a release out in this country for a long, long time", knows his place when it comes to theatrical stylings. On a stage not long vacated by Costello, for contrast, this essential rewrite of Demis' Forever And Ever is patterned by moments of Dolan bursting into big flamboyant phrases pitched several keys above the tune before experimenting in alarming laryngitis-esque falsetto. Gesturing in the backing vocals, pointing at the camera - he knows his showbiz alright. The audience even look slightly engaged. "Wow, some of those high notes!" Tony muses as the four women around him clap appreciatively in a way we've never seen the people gathered around a presenter do before.

The Dooleys – Think I’m Gonna Fall In Love With You
Repeat. She'll catch her death.

Nazareth – Love Hurts
Soft rock's turn to strike a blow, big Marshall amps and all. Dan McCafferty, clad in white trousers and what can only be described as a flowery blouse, emotes like a man hurt. The drummer in his big beard and shrunk-to-fit-naturally cap sleeve vest seems like he came from central rock casting.

Candi Staton – Nights On Broadway
More flashing lights lead in the video, so even more flashing lights. Consider it a glamorous take on road safety Public Information Films.

Mink De Ville – Spanish Stroll
Tony suggests we've never been to Spain with him. Well, no, Tony. Video again. "I didn't understand a word of that, did you?" Tony mugs afterwards.

David Essex – Cool Out Tonight
Tony has some more plugging to do. "Tuesday, eight o'clock, I want you to remember this, on BBC television, David Essex starts the first of his brand new series of six shows". Yes, but when does he finish it? And again, don't actually watch at that time in expectation. Well versed in showbiz performance as he is, David has full command of matey side-on looks to camera and keeps the power of surprise, producing a rhythm guitar halfway through. Shame he's forced his saxophonist to come along as the man has nothing to do with the instrument despite keeping it strapped on - union getting uppity? - and has to increasingly listlessly shake a tambourine, being positioned right behind Essex's left shoulder in straight on shots not helping his cause much. And one more blow for light entertainment, David's elaborate bow to the audience in the background as Tony starts talking again.

Carly Simon – Nobody Does It Better
A Legs & Co repeat, maybe to prove that they really were well covered after all.

Elvis Presley – Way Down
And a third Legs & Co appearance! It's not so long - months, come to think of it - since they wouldn't let us see more than one dance on the same show edit, possibly thinking we'd all get overexcited, hyperventilate and black out. But here they are again in the same outfits as for Silver Lady, shot entirely from one stage right and from the back with Sue in the foreground, doing at least three different routines at once to begin with before falling into formation prancing, facing a Toppotron™ slide projection of his photos as between those two points kids shuffle awkwardly. At least one teenage male seems to be doing it ironically. It briefly looks like the girls are going to keep going regardless of what the music's doing but they notice and slowly gyrate to a standstill before applauding everyone else for dancing, which is big of them. Tony continues his one man Radio Times recital by plugging his morning Radio 1 show and Magic Fly plus lots of close-ups of lights sees us out.